The Graduation Play

By Deborah Ann Percy and (William) Arnold Johnston

From the authors: In The Graduation Play, Ellie, a bank executive, and Ralph, a lawyer who aspires to the bench, attend the outdoor college commencement of their son Glen. As the unseen Dean of Students reads the names of the graduates, Ellie and Ralph spar about the commencement speaker, the merits of ChapStick as sunburn protection, a missing pair of trousers, and Ralph’s mysterious unwillingness to help Ellie move Glen to Boston to start graduate school. Completing a degree in higher education is shortly followed by a transition to new worlds and new challenges. What may be forgotten in celebration of that event are the new world and new challenges that await the parents the graduate usually leaves behind. That’s where The Graduation Play begins. 

CHARACTERS:

ELLIE, forties, bank executive
RALPH, late forties, lawyer
DEAN of Students, a voice off

SETTING:  Outdoors on the central quadrangle of a small Midwestern college during commencement exercises.  TIME:  The present, an early afternoon in the middle of June.

    (The lights rise to reveal ELLIE seated at one of two folding chairs facing the audience.  Dialogue will reveal that she is attending her son Glen's college graduation and is seated amid a throng of other parents, relatives, and friends, but we see only her.  The outdoor setting may be suggested by lighting and sound.  Under everything we hear–at regular intervals–the names of the graduates being read over a P.A. system by the unseen DEAN of Students.  In response to the names we hear an occasional outburst of cheers.  Meanwhile, ELLIE looks around her as if trying to spot someone.)

DEAN (Off.):  Jennifer Lynn Delamarter. (Pause.)  Julie Ann DeLeeuw. (Pause.)  Angela Lee Dell.  (Pause.)  Kyle Douglas Demerly.

    (The list of names continues at a lower level as ELLIE spots someone off and waves.)

ELLIE (Calling off.):  Here!  Ralph!  Here I am!

    (After a few moments RALPH enters, carrying a disposable camera, and makes his way to ELLIE past other unseen spectators.  They speak to each other in hushed tones unless otherwise noted.)

DEAN (Off, as RALPH sits.):  Laura Patrick Dermody, summa cum laude, Art History.
(Pause.)  Michael Gage Downs.  (Pause.)  Lorene Elizabeth Dunn.  (Pause.)  Edward Michael Dzialowski.

RALPH:  I saw you.  You didn't have to yell.  I remembered where you were.  It's not as if we're at someplace big like Michigan State.

    (The list of names continues as a rhythm, but below the level of distraction unless otherwise noted.)

ELLIE:  You were gone so long I thought you might have forgotten.  Trying to find a place to make a phone call, were you?

RALPH (Holding up the camera.):  I was trying to get a good angle on Glen.  Even when it's your own kid it's hard to pick him out among three hundred other kids, all wearing black robes and mortarboards.

ELLIE:  Not robes.  Gowns.  When he was little I had trouble picking him out on the soccer field.  All those little guys in the same outfits running off down the field.

RALPH (Continuing, almost to himself.):  Uniforms.  Not outfits.

ELLIE (Continuing, too.):  All with the same haircuts.

DEAN (Off.):  Debra Ann Fahndrich.  (Pause.)  Jennifer Marie Farrell.  (Pause.)  Debra Anne Feuerstein.

ELLIE:  So.  Did you get any decent shots?

RALPH:  I think so.  We won't know till they're developed, I guess.

ELLIE: Very judicious.  The Right Ralph Wilson Murray, Seventh District Court.  No intemperate public statements or unsubstantiated claims.

DEAN (Off.):  Cara Christine Foxworthy.

ELLIE:  No calling out the judge's name at public affairs.  Or would you prefer "functions"?

RALPH:  Magistrate, Ellie.  I'm a long way from being a judge.

ELLIE:  Well, you'll have plenty of time to plan your campaign in a few weeks, won't you?  When you're not helping me move Glen to grad school.  (A beat.)  You'll have plenty of time for everything.

RALPH (Ignoring her.):  Look at this.  (Indicating the camera.)  I'm surrounded by Nikons with lenses as long as my arm, and all we can find is an underwater disposable camera.

ELLIE:  Left over from another trip you didn't make.

RALPH:  Couldn't make.  I'm not on banker's hours.  Or weeks.

ELLIE:  At least the bank knows people need a vacation now and again.  (Gesturing vaguely upward.)  With the way the light's shifting through the trees, it looks almost as if we are underwater.  The water above the coral had that same mix of light and shade.

RALPH (Changing subjects, gesturing at his trousers.):  Look at these damn things.

ELLIE:  You look fine.  Judicial, in fact.  Magisterial?

RALPH:  I look like a geek.

ELLIE:  You look just fine.

RALPH:  I didn't want to wear my old chinos.  With a broken button on the back pocket.  And the grease stain from when I rescued you.

ELLIE:  Rescued me?

RALPH:  When your bike broke down.  After I told you to take the car.  After I told you I didn't need the car and would be glad to walk to my meeting.

ELLIE:  You would walk to Judge Williams' office.  You, who never walk anywhere.  That I know of.

RALPH:  Chambers.  Judge Williams’ chambers.  (A beat.)  I said I would be glad to walk and you could have the car.

ELLIE:  But I can't have it to move Glen to Massachusetts, can I?  That would cramp your style.

RALPH:  You're renting a truck, aren't you?

ELLIE:  A car, too, when we get there.

RALPH:  Bicycle grease never comes out.  See?  (Pulling at his pants to show her the spot.)  I've had them dry-cleaned.  See?  For all the good it did.

DEAN (Off.):  Lauren Nicole Gibson.  (Pause.)  Adam Michael Gilchrist.

RALPH:  Someone should make sure they wear their hats flat on the top of their heads.  Not back at that silly angle.

ELLIE:  Someone should.  I told him when he graduated from high school.

RALPH:  Nobody will now.  Nobody can.  All that stuff has gone out the window.  This is the generation that wears baseball caps everywhere.

DEAN (Off.):  Monika Jean Gottschalk.

RALPH:  Also at stupid angles.

DEAN (Off.):  Casper Robert Grant.

RALPH:  I mean, what happened to taking off your hat when you come indoors?

ELLIE:  Every generation of kids knows instinctively what will irritate adults most.

DEAN (Off.):  Shannon Lee Graves.

ELLIE:  Clothes.  Hairstyles.  Music.  Hats.  (Beat.)  You know how you hate that music.

DEAN (Off.):  Siobhan Marie Grundler.  (Pause.)  Cynthia Elena Guevara, cum laude, Spanish.

RALPH:  I'd settle for a silly hat right now.  My head is going to be scorched by the time this is over.  (Beat.)  If we'd gotten here sooner, we'd have been able to find a seat in the shade.

ELLIE (Looking around.):  Over there?  In the land of bad fashion choices?

RALPH (Plucking at his trousers.):  Where I'd be right at home.  And safe from skin cancer.

DEAN (Off.):  Jennifer Rebecca Halverson.  (Pause.)  Ahmed Farrad Hamzavi.  (Pause.) Joel Anthony Hannah.

ELLIE:  I have a sunscreen lip balm.

RALPH:  I can feel my scalp burning.

ELLIE:  It's a fifteen protection factor, I think.  Do you want it?

RALPH:  Sit here in front of a couple thousand people and rub a ChapStick on my head?  I don't think so.

ELLIE:  Well, you could rub it on your fingers and sort of subtly–

RALPH:  I'm not rubbing anything on my head.  I wanted to get here in time to find a seat in the shade.  I wanted to wear some decent trousers.

ELLIE (Looking ion her purse.):  I may put some on my arms so I don't get odd tan marks from my dress.

DEAN (Off.):  Psiyina LaDawna Gibson.  (Pause.)  Rebecca Lynn Holmes.  (Pause.)  Karen Elizabeth Holmes.  (Pause.)  Jeffrey Allen Holtz.

RALPH:  Chambers, Ellie.  Chambers.  After twenty-two years, surely you know it's "chambers," not "office."

DEAN (Off.):  Sara Maxine Huckabee, summa cum laude, Computer Science.  (Pause.)
Marvin D. Hunt.  (Pause.)  Bernice Imber.  (Pause.)  Karina Marie Jarvis.

ELLIE:  It's not really your pants.  Or sitting in the sun.

DEAN (Off.):  Robert Lee Johnson.  (Pause.)  Kathleen Michelle Johnson.

ELLIE:  That's not what we're talking about here.  Your pants.

DEAN (Off.):  Tamea Deshawn Jones.  (Pause.)  Randall Wesley Justus.

ELLIE:  I didn't need to be rescued.  That was your idea.  I just needed you to look up a phone number for me.

RALPH (Looking at his program.):  At this rate we'll be here forever.

ELLIE:  Do you have somewhere else to go?

RALPH (After a beat.):  Just what were you going to do if I hadn't come from Judge Williams' chambers and put that damn bike in the trunk and taken you to your damn class?

DEAN (Off.)  Hans Keglewitch, Junior.

ELLIE:  (After a beat.)  Do you think that commencement speaker was drunk?

RALPH:  God.  I'd managed to suppress all thought of him.  I think he's the reason I'm getting sunburned.  (Looking at her.)  One of the reasons, anyway.  That speech put a significant hole in the ozone layer, directly above this small, overpriced liberal arts institution.  (Changing subjects.)  Where are my good trousers?

ELLIE:  You have plenty of good pants.

RALPH:  I have good pants somewhere.  My blue trousers.

ELLIE:  I knew you would do this.

RALPH:  But I don't know where.

ELLIE:  I should have known you'd do it today.

DEAN (Off.):  Stephanie Helene Kourous.

    (This is followed by loud cheering and the sound of a compressed-air horn.)

RALPH:  Listen to that.  You'd expect that at Michigan State, but not in a tony little place like this.  Graduation on the grassy quad.  And some boob has an air-horn.

ELLIE:  I didn't do anything with your pants, you know.  They disappeared without any help from me.

DEAN (Off.):  Gary M. Kuester.

RALPH:  Do you know how it looks?  Your riding around town on that bike?

ELLIE:  Do you know how it looks?

DEAN (Off.):  Eric Tait Kurc.

ELLIE (Gesturing above them.):  See?  Now the sun has moved and we're in the shade.  You’re safe from melanoma.

DEAN (Off.):  Jennie Rebecca LaBumbard.

ELLIE:  Now it really does look like we're underwater.

DEAN (Off.):  Keira Raquel Laird.

ELLIE:  You do know how it looks, don't you?

DEAN (Off.):  John Charles Langkamp.

ELLIE:  The commencement speaker must have been drunk.  All that on and on about cornfields.  Bucolic pleasures.

DEAN (Off.):  Tawna Marie Lawther.

ELLIE:  Bucolic?

RALPH:  Bucolic.  Corncobs and chicken coops.  Cow flops.  To show he still has the common touch, despite being a pointy-headed intellectual.

ELLIE: (Shifting her attack.)  All this on and on about pants.  And bikes.

    (There is another loud outburst of applause and cheering.  Neither speaks for a time.)

DEAN (Off.):  Matt Moyer Little.  (Pause.)  Kelly Anne Longjohn.  (Pause.)  David Joseph Mackey.

ELLIE:  Maybe Glen wore your pants.  Maybe that's where they are.

RALPH:  You know that's not true.  There's no maybe, Ellie.

DEAN (Off.):  Kathleen Megan Matthews, magna cum laude, Physics.  (Pause.)  David Lloyd McGrath.  (Pause.)  Joshua Meldrum McKee.

ELLIE:  Riding my bike.  Taking classes.  That's not going to keep you from becoming a judge.  You know what's going to keep you from becoming a judge.

RALPH (Warning her.):  Ellie.

ELLIE:  You don't want to help me move Glen to MIT.  You want to stay here by yourself.  Why?  (A beat.)  That's what's going to keep you from becoming a–

RALPH:  Ellie!  Stop it.

ELLIE:  You won't have it.  You won't get to be a judge.

RALPH (Hissing back at her.):  You don't know.

ELLIE:  I do.

RALPH:  Look.  It's Glen's row.  (He raises the camera.)  This will take precise timing.

ELLIE:  Everything seems to these days.

RALPH (Half rising.):  Ellie.  I'm trying to concentrate.

    (She subsides.  They both stare intently our front.  The volume of the names rises   slightly, punctuated by cheers.)

DEAN (Off.):  Alison Margaret Montgomery.  (Pause.)  Farah Mirza Moosavi, summa cum laude, Mathematics.  (Pause.)  Jenny Eileen Moss.  (Pause.)  Edmund Adam Mulder.

(RALPH and ELLIE both rise to see their son, and RALPH aims the camera out front.)

ELLIE:  Here he comes.

DEAN (Off.):  Michelle Mullenkamp.

ELLIE (Shouting.):  Now!           DEAN (Off.):  Glen Albert Murray, cum laude, Biology.

ELLIE (Softly, as if calling to her son as RALPH snaps several pictures.):  Glen.  (As RALPH starts to sit.)  Get another, Ralph.  One more.  Quickly, while he's coming down the stairs.  Before he's gone.

    (RALPH stands and takes one more picture.  They both sit.)

RALPH:  Well, that's that.  (A beat.)  I hope the pictures come out.  (A beat.)  Our son's graduation pictures depending on a disposable underwater camera.

ELLIE:  Gum.  He was chewing gum.

RALPH:  I wanted a telephoto lens.  At least we could have had a disposable camera with a telephoto lens.

ELLIE:  This was all we had.  And I didn't have time to go to the store.  (A beat.)
You could have picked up what you wanted yourself.

RALPH:  I was tied up, Ellie.  (A beat.)  Jesus.  It's Glen's graduation.

ELLIE:  I was busy, too.  At least we have a camera.  I wasn't too tied up for that.  (A beat.)  I'm helping him move.

RALPH:  So am I.  I'm paying for it.

ELLIE (Quietly furious.):  We're paying for it!

RALPH (Looking around him.):  All right.  Calm down.  (A beat.)  This isn't the place.

ELLIE (A beat, then mimicking.):  "Order in the court.  This is highly irregular.  I want opposing counsel in my chambers."

RALPH:  Ellie, this isn't fair.

ELLIE:  No. Nothing is.  (A beat.)  So.  You stay here in town and do–whatever it is you need to do.  And I'll go to Boston with Glen.  (A beat.)  Get him settled.  (A beat.)  I may spend a day or two in Cape Cod.  Look up friends.  The bank can get along without me for a bit.  It's not as if I'm running for anything.

RALPH (After a beat.):  What friends?

ELLIE:  Friend, really.  From college.

DEAN (Off.):  Craig G. Oostendorp.

RALPH:  What friend?

DEAN (Off.):  Kimberly Darlene Ortsey.

ELLIE:  Nobody you'd know.

DEAN (Off.):  Alicia Anne Osborne.

RALPH:  The chemistry guy.  The one who went to work for the oceanographic outfit in–where is it?

ELLIE:  Woods Hole.

RALPH:  Right.  Woods Hole.

    (They fall silent, staring out front.)

DEAN (Off.):  Laura Lynne Papas.  (Pause.)  Daniel Paquette.  (Pause.)  Kim Lee Park, magna cum laude, Mathematics.  (Pause.)  Santha Satyajit Pathek.

ELLIE:  It's an old address.  Might not even be current.

    (They stare out front.)

DEAN (Off.):  Kimberly Peterson, cum laude, Chemistry.  (Pause.)  Edward Nicholas Plaxton.  (Pause.)  Karen Elizabeth Priestaf.  (Pause.)  John Philip Pugh.

RALPH:  Where are we supposed to meet Glen?

ELLIE (Pointing down L.):  Down there.  At the southwest end of the quad.  Behind the platform.

RALPH (Pointing down R.):  That's southwest.

ELLIE:  Southeast, then.  (Pointing down L.)  Down there.  (A beat.)  Do you have any exposures left?

RALPH (Checking the camera.):  A few.

ELLIE:  We can finish them down there.

RALPH:  I thought I'd try to catch a shot or two of Glen during the . . . what-do-you-call-it.

ELLIE:  The recessional.  Good idea.  (After a beat.)  He is, isn't he?  Recessing.  Receding.  From us.  Off down the soccer field.  So we can't tell him from anyone else.

    (She leans her head on his shoulder.)

RALPH (Looking at her.):  He'll be okay.

ELLIE (Looking at him.):  I know he will.  (A beat.)  That's why I want to help him move.  Help this one last time.  (A beat.)  Those trousers are gone, Ralph.  You'll just need to buy another pair.

    (They fall silent.)

DEAN (Off.):  Amy Terese Scheel.  (Pause.)  Scott Preston Schlack.  (Pause.)  Sandra Gail Schlosser, magna cum laude, English.

RALPH:  I will.

ELLIE:  Will what?

RALPH:  Buy another pair.

ELLIE:  For your campaign.

RALPH:  For the trip.  (A beat.)  The trip East.  To Boston.  To MIT.  (She looks at him.)  With you.  And Glen.

    (She touches his face, then takes his hand.  They look out front and listen.)

DEAN (Off.):  Stephen Emile Silverman.  (Pause.)  Tracy Wayne Sloan.  (Pause.)  Uldis Elksnis Smidchens.  (Pause.)  Laurence William Smith.

    (The names continue, dwindling into silence as the lights slowly fade to black.)

(William) Arnold Johnston (Western Michigan University) has published poetry along with fiction, nonfiction and translations in numerous literary journals and anthologies. Primarily a playwright, he has earned awards, productions and publications for his plays and for those written with his wife, Deborah Ann Percy. His books include What the Earth Taught Us (poetry); Of Earth and Darkness: The Novels of William Golding (a critical study); and, recently, with his wife, Duets: Love Is Strange (six one-acts)and The Art of the One-Act (an edited anthology). His heavily researched and widely praised The Witching Voice: A Novel from the Life of Robert Burns came out in January to honor the 250th anniversary of the birth of the poet. Johnston’s play about Burns, also entitled The Witching Voice (published in 1973), has received many successful productions. On his CD Jacques Brel: I’m Here! the experienced singer/actor performs 19 of his 80 or so translations of songs by the famed Belgian singer-songwriter; his Brel translations also have been featured in musical revues across the country and a book-length collection is forthcoming from Wings Press. His Jacques Brel’s Lonesome Losers of the Night played to rave reviews and sold-out houses in 2008 at Chicago’s No Exit Café, and was nominated for five non-Equity Jefferson Awards. His translation and libretto for an operatic version of Jean-Paul Sartre’s No Exit will appear at the No Exit in 2010.   He and his wife have to their credit (with poet Dona Roşu) several books of translations from the Romanian, including playwright Hristache Popescu’s Night of the Passions and Sons of Cain in one volume, as well as the forthcoming Epilogue, alsobyPopescu. Johnston is a member of the Dramatists Guild of America and an Artistic Associate with Chicago’s Theo Ubique Theatre Company. He was chairman of the English department (1997-2007) and taught creative writing for many years at Western Michigan University. He is now a full-time writer based in Kalamazoo, Mich. His poem “What’s Underneath” won the Poetic Pause contest for the summer 2009 edition of Phi Kappa Phi Forum. Email him at arnie.johnston@wmich.edu.
 
Deborah Ann Percy earned an MFA in Creative Writing at Western Michigan University. Her plays, and those written in collaboration with her husband, Arnold Johnston, have won awards, publication, and production nationwide. Their books include a play, Rasputin in New York, and (with Dona Roşu) translations of Romanian playwright Hristache Popescu’s Night of the Passions and Sons of Cain and the forthcoming Epilogue. Beyond Sex, a play from their Detroit Trilogy, will appear in 2010 in both English and Romanian editions, the latter under the title of Dincola de Sex as translated by Roşu and Luciana Costea. Their edited collection, The Art of the One Act,appeared in 2007 fromNew Issues Press, and a collection of their own one-acts, Duets: Love Is Strange, appeared in 2008 from March Street Press. A dozen or so of their radio dramas have been broadcast on WMUK-FM in Kalamazoo as part of All Ears Theatre. Winner of major playwriting grants from the Michigan Council for Arts and Cultural Affairs and the Gilmore Foundation, she was named as a 1999 recipient of Kalamazoo’s Community Medal of the Arts. After a distinguished administrative career in the Kalamazoo Public Schools, notably as principal of Maple Street Magnet Middle School for the Arts, she is now a full-time writer; she is also a member of the Dramatists Guild and a resident playwright with AAI Productions. Email her at JohnstonDA@kalamazoo.k12.mi.us