Uncommon Wisdom for Work and Life: You Can Be Most Successful by Questioning Much of What You Will Be Told

Kirby Chaney

"Wisdom stands at the turn in the road and calls upon us publicly, but we consider it false and despise its adherents." – Kahlil Gibran

After nearly half a century on this planet and three decades in the job market I’ve learned more than a few things about what’s really important, not just at work, but also in life. You will get a lot of advice about moving up the ladder, being an effective employee or manager, being shrewd and tough, never losing a negotiation, and grabbing all you can while you can. From my own experience, I’d like to offer some ideas for a different approach that might be more likely to result in both a fulfilling life and a successful career.

Find the right blend of ambition and humility. Know your desires for the future; pursue them single-mindedly and communicate them widely, but don’t step on anyone’s back or kiss anyone’s behind to get there.
Always have in mind and be able to state concisely your three greatest opportunities and three greatest risks. Encourage those on your team to do the same. Communicate those risks and opportunities for better alignment of effort. Revise and update the list frequently.
Gain control in many situations by anticipating what might happen or be said so that your response will be prepared, thought through and justified. If you truly understand the professor, you will know ahead of time what questions will be on the final exam, and will be able to study and score accordingly.
Be willing (even happy) to do what others won’t do or can’t do. A great example of this is to accept assignments involving heavy travel or relocation to a not-so-desirable place. Many people are zip-code challenged, often for good reason, but as a result they limit their opportunities. Understanding the long-term payoff will help you avoid becoming resentful of taking the hard jobs.
Whenever possible, be on good terms with everyone with whom you come into contact. Finesse is always better than muscle. Few solutions are reached during a shouting match. The best advice for handling those with whom you simply cannot get along is to keep your distance from them.
You can almost always find a positive approach, even to the most negative situations or tasks. For example, “You’re not performing up to the standard in such and such” can just as easily be stated “I would really like to see you spend time working to develop your abilities in this area.”
One of the founders of my employer company wrote a simple book about values and business conduct, still a guiding document for the firm. One piece of his advice was that “Respect should follow those who voluntarily move down or sideways on the organization chart. One reason so many kings and emperors met violent death is that their jobs were for life, thus the only way to get change at the top was to eliminate the top man.” Your place in the organization should be based upon what’s best for the organization. Your success should follow the team’s success, not precede it.
Do everything possible to meet deadlines, even (perhaps especially) the ones that may seem trivial. The beneficiaries of your promptness will think you walk on water and they will tell others.
Treat everyone with respect regardless of station. A subordinate may someday be your boss. A heartfelt good morning to someone preparing to clean your hotel room will lift their spirits and will cost you nothing. Being a favorite of the receptionist may gain you otherwise unavailable access when you could most use it. The greatest lesson my mother taught me was to be equally gracious whether you are asked to dine with kings or offered a drink of water from a tin cup.
When you have the opportunity, accept an assignment or take on an activity that terrifies you. The more time you spend outside of your comfort zone, the more fearless you will become. Most people are scared a good bit of the time; they just work very hard not to let it show.
To a reasonable degree, live (and spend your employer’s money) beneath your means. You don’t always need the newest, greatest, and shiniest of everything. Being petty about something like the size of your office or a parking place is unbecoming. The friendliest people on the plane are flying coach.

I can only hope that one of these ideas helps you to consider a different approach in your education, your work or your life in this increasingly busy and competitive world.

"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I/Took the one less traveled by,/And that has made all the difference." – Robert Frost

Kirby Chaney is an active member of Phi Kappa Phi. He graduated from Oklahoma State University with a B.S. in Engineering in 1992 and works as an engineer in the water and wastewater field. His travels have taken him to more than forty countries on six continents. He and his wife, Angela, live in Luquillo, Puerto Rico.